Body acceptance and self-esteem in men - Health, Fitness, and Sports

puddingmouse exclamation mark! Joined: Apr 25, 2010 Age: 26 Posts: 7634 Location: Cottonopolis	Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 1:23 pm?? ?Post subject: Body acceptance and self-esteem in men I'm starting to be more and more aware of this as an issue. I had a boyfriend who had always struggled with his weight but got bigger over time. His body acceptance was zero and it interfered with his sexual appetite (and consequently ended the relationship.) Looking back and seeing it for what it is, this makes me sad. I'm not saying that being obese is good for health, but that everyone, male or female, should like their body. I see men are under a lot of pressure to have a certain body now more than they did 15 years ago. It's good if men want to work out to be healthy, but I see some unhealthy attitudes and practices developing. The way their self-esteem is affected upsets the way they go about relationships too. Thinking of the kind of men I'm attracted to: I like all sorts of body types. I like skinny rockstars and 'bears' just as much (although I'm not a gay man, I can see what gay men see in bears.) I also like athletic people like runners and cyclists. I even like a geeky computer guys with a 24 BMI and little man boobies (this is probably because I would probably look like this if I was a guy and was back down to my normal weight) Men are so insecure and try to bravado it away with 'bro' culture and if they're fat, laughing it off and being 'comedic' fat guys. It's much more acceptable to call a man a 'fat bastard' than it is to say a woman is fat. Their are tonnes of body acceptance blogs and sites for women but not for men. There's this idea that a woman can be hot if she's big, because she can be a BBW and have curves, but big men are just gross unless they have an unhealthily low body fat % and turn all the bulk into muscle. This affects women, as well because women have relationships with these insecure guys. Also, I see body acceptance as a societal thing that men and women need to do together or not at all. I think women (or men) should never: 1. Call a man a 'fat bastard'. 2. Sing the 'who ate all the pies' song at a man (this is a popular British song used to make fun of fat people, it's nearly always sung at men.) 3. Make fun of ectomorph men who take their top off and reveal a skinny chest and arms. 4. Make fun of endomorph men who don't have the societally required muscle definition to take their top off. 5. Refer to thin men as 'Skeletor' or a 'bag of bones'. And I'm sure there are a few others. Who's with me? _________________ I'm written in a language even I don't understand - but I am learning.
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monsterland Phoenix Joined: Dec 31, 2009 Age: 36 Posts: 749 Location: San Francisco, CA
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puddingmouse exclamation mark! Joined: Apr 25, 2010 Age: 26 Posts: 7634 Location: Cottonopolis
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anotherswede Emu Egg Joined: Apr 26, 2013 Posts: 1	Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 6:56 pm?? ?Post subject: Re: Body acceptance and self-esteem in men puddingmouse wrote: I'm starting to be more and more aware of this as an issue. I had a boyfriend who had always struggled with his weight but got bigger over time. His body acceptance was zero and it interfered with his sexual appetite (and consequently ended the relationship.) Looking back and seeing it for what it is, this makes me sad. I'm not saying that being obese is good for health, but that everyone, male or female, should like their body. I see men are under a lot of pressure to have a certain body now more than they did 15 years ago. It's good if men want to work out to be healthy, but I see some unhealthy attitudes and practices developing. The way their self-esteem is affected upsets the way they go about relationships too. To me there seems to be a trend in media, movies, TV, to feature more muscular men than in the nineties. The "ideal" man seems to have grown in muscle mass. The trend amongst the general public seems to be that people are getting fatter. The number of people having the normal body type (that most everyone had before) men generally had doing manual labour seems to me to be rapidly declining. This pressure you speak of may reflect that, and when most everyone had the normal body type there would be no need for such pressure. What seems to be strongly trending where I live is the fitness culture amongst most between 16 and 30, or somewhere there about. A seriously large number of girls now hit the gym and it wasn't like that 5 or 10 years ago. Number of gyms have doubled in 2 years and what a 20 year old girl considers a desirable body is way off what it was 10 years ago. This has nothing to do with being overweight but about being "tight", or what they call it... This could be a worrying trend if a normal slim teenage girls feels she doesn't have the muscle tone that is becoming the norm or trend. puddingmouse wrote: of the kind of men I'm attracted to: I like all sorts of body types. I like skinny rockstars and 'bears' just as much (although I'm not a gay man, I can see what gay men see in bears.) I also like athletic people like runners and cyclists. I even like a geeky computer guys with a 24 BMI and little man boobies (this is probably because I would probably look like this if I was a guy and was back down to my normal weight) A BMI of 23-24 seems to be what is generally considered desirable for men, with a BMI on the lower end being desirable for women, like 19-21. The picture of the geek is more like being way heavier than 24, like obese, or on the low to end of the scale. puddingmouse wrote: Men are so insecure and try to bravado it away with 'bro' culture and if they're fat, laughing it off and being 'comedic' fat guys. It's much more acceptable to call a man a 'fat bastard' than it is to say a woman is fat. Their are tonnes of body acceptance blogs and sites for women but not for men. There's this idea that a woman can be hot if she's big, because she can be a BBW and have curves, but big men are just gross unless they have an unhealthily low body fat % and turn all the bulk into muscle. This affects women, as well because women have relationships with these insecure guys. Also, I see body acceptance as a societal thing that men and women need to do together or not at all. Depending on where you live, but being fat isn't something few are. In the US 64% were overweight, obese or pre-obese, 10 years ago. Likely significantly higher now and about a third being obese now. Most of western Europe isn't that far behind. With every second or so guy being a bit overweight it can't possibly have the same stigma attached to it as being an aspie, being gay, deaf, etc. People get the weirdest ideas. This advocacy of being big could be dangerous to some degree. Even losing a little could have positive effect on health. Everyone knows being obese negatively effects health, and advocating the likes of obesity, smoking, drugs, alcohol, speeding, etc., probably shouldn't be done. This may be stretching what you were meaning, and I'm sorry about that, but after watching a few programmes about BBWs, acceptance and such, it did seem a strange culture. Either way society's pressure should not be making people feel bad and get depressed because they don't conform and have trouble shedding their weight. One is what one is and you have to be happy about that and accept yourself.
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puddingmouse exclamation mark! Joined: Apr 25, 2010 Age: 26 Posts: 7634 Location: Cottonopolis
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auntblabby Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief Joined: Feb 13, 2010 Posts: 19554 Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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puddingmouse exclamation mark! Joined: Apr 25, 2010 Age: 26 Posts: 7634 Location: Cottonopolis
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Fnord Enigmatic Threadkilling Metasyntactic Variable Joined: May 07, 2008 Posts: 19245 Location: Stendec
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auntblabby Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief Joined: Feb 13, 2010 Posts: 19554 Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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auntblabby Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief Joined: Feb 13, 2010 Posts: 19554 Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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PerfectlyDarkTails Deinonychus Joined: Mar 14, 2012 Age: 25 Posts: 305 Location: Wales	Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 10:02 pm?? ?Post subject: Eh, I feel there should be moderation for accepting the body completely. There is a very unhealthy culture of accepting unhealthy lifestyles etc, "thin privilege" and all that. I had health and self-esteem issues in the past, I am at least proud of my 100lbs weight loss. My sense of being now feels pretty good. It is a shame that there are people that accept their unhealthy bodies as fate and that everyone else is wrong, I wouldn't be surprised this type of inflamed attitude is killing people. Balance, moderation and promoting general good health is key. From experiences, Take full self-confidence within yourself but also take responsibility of health. _________________ "When you begin to realize your own existence and break out of the social norm, then others know you have completely lost your mind." -PerfectlyDarkTails AS 168/200, NT: 20/ 200, AQ=45 EQ=15, SQ=78, IQ=135
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puddingmouse exclamation mark! Joined: Apr 25, 2010 Age: 26 Posts: 7634 Location: Cottonopolis
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auntblabby Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief Joined: Feb 13, 2010 Posts: 19554 Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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puddingmouse exclamation mark! Joined: Apr 25, 2010 Age: 26 Posts: 7634 Location: Cottonopolis
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